Excellent communication skills are a crucial component of lasting success.
But in a face-to-face conversation did you know there are 3 different types of communication ?
The act of communication involves verbal, nonverbal, and paraverbal components. The verbal component refers to the content of our message‚ the choice and arrangement of our words. The nonverbal component refers to the message we send through our body language. The paraverbal component refers to how we say, what we say — the tone, pacing and volume of our voices.
Verbal Messages
Our use of language has tremendous power in the type of atmosphere that is created at the problem-solving table.
Words that are critical, blaming, judgmental or accusatory tend to create a resistant and defensive mindset that is not conducive to constructive problem solving. On the other hand, we can choose words that normalise the issues and problems and reduce resistance. Phrases such as ‘in some districts, people may…’ ,’it is not uncommon for… ‘or ‘for some people in similar situations’ are examples of this.
Sending effective messages requires that we state our point of view as briefly and succinctly as possible.
Listening to a rambling, unorganized speaker is tedious and discouraging — why continue to listen when there is no interchange? Lengthy dissertations and circuitous explanations are confusing to the listener and the message loses its concreteness, relevance, and impact.
This is your opportunity to help the listener understand YOUR perspective and point of view. Choose your words with the intent of making your message as clear as possible, avoiding jargon and unnecessary, tangential information.
Remember effective verbal messages are brief, succinct, and organised. They are also free of jargon and do not create resistance in the listener.
Nonverbal Messages
The power of nonverbal communication cannot be underestimated. Professor Albert Mehrabian says the messages we send through our posture, gestures, facial expression, and spatial distance account for 55% of what is perceived and understood by others.
In fact, through our body language we are always communicating, whether we want to or not!
Nonverbal messages are the primary way that we communicate emotions:
Facial Expression: The face is perhaps the most important conveyor of emotional information. A face can light up with enthusiasm, energy, and approval, express confusion or boredom, and scowl with displeasure.
The eyes are particularly expressive in telegraphing joy, sadness, anger, or confusion.
Postures and Gestures: Our body postures can create a feeling of warm openness or cold rejection. For example, when someone faces us, sitting quietly with hands loosely folded in the lap, a feeling of anticipation and interest is created.
A posture of arms crossed on the chest portrays a feeling of inflexibility. The action of gathering up one’s materials and reaching for a purse signals a desire to end the conversation. Remember Nonverbal Messages:
Account for about 55% of what is perceived and understood by others. Are conveyed through our facial expressions as well as our postures and gestures
Paraverbal Messages
Paraverbal communication refers to the messages that we transmit through the tone, pitch, and pacing of our voices.
It is how we say something, not what we say. Professor Mehrabian states that the paraverbal message accounts for approximately 38% of what is communicated to someone.
A sentence can convey entirely different meanings depending on the emphasis on words and the tone of voice.
For example, the statement, ‘I didn’t say you were stupid’ has six different meanings, depending on which word is emphasized.
Some points to remember about our paraverbal communication:
When we are angry or excited, our speech tends to become more rapid and higher pitched. When we are bored or feeling down, our speech tends to slow and take on a monotone quality. When we are feeling defensive, our speech is often abrupt. P
Paraverbal Messages:
1. Account for about 38% of what is perceived and understood by others.
2. Include the tone, pitch, and pacing of our voice
The Importance of Consistency
In all of our communications we want to strive to send consistent verbal, paraverbal and nonverbal messages. But we also need to be an excellent listener. Listening is a skill that requires constant practice.
Read more about developing good listening skills.